mindfulness and neurodivergence

Ungloving Ourselves: A Reflection on Mark Nepo’s Wisdom for Mindfulness and Compassion Teachers

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Ungloving Ourselves: A Reflection on Mark Nepo’s Wisdom for Mindfulness and Compassion Teachers

In this reflection inspired by poet and philosopher Mark Nepo, we explore what it means to “unlove” ourselves — to take off the layers of protection that keep us from truly feeling life. This teaching offers a powerful lens for mindfulness and compassion teachers, reminding us that authenticity, vulnerability, and presence are at the heart of our work.

Recently, I came across a passage from Mark Nepo’s The Book of Awakening that stopped me in my tracks. It speaks with such tenderness and truth about our shared human tendency to protect ourselves — and the cost of doing so.

“We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved, and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time.

When we hesitate in being direct, we unknowingly slip something on, some added layer of protection that keeps us from feeling the world, and often that thin covering is the beginning of a loneliness which, if not put down, diminishes our chances of joy.

It’s like wearing gloves every time we touch something, and then, forgetting we chose to put them on, we complain that nothing feels quite real. Our challenge each day is not to get dressed to face the world but to unglove ourselves so that the doorknob feels cold and the car handle feels wet and the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being, soft and unrepeatable.”
— Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

The layers we wear

As mindfulness and compassion teachers, we often guide others to “be with what is,” to soften around experience, and to notice how resistance shows up in the body and mind. Yet this passage reminds us that we too wear invisible “gloves” — layers of protection that can keep us safe but also separate.

These gloves might be subtle: the professional persona we adopt when teaching, the desire to appear calm or wise, or the quiet fear that we must have all the answers. Beneath these layers, as Nepo reminds us, lie universal human longings — to be loved, to be safe, to have enough time. Mindfulness practice invites us to see these tender places clearly, without judgment, and to gently begin the process of “ungloving” ourselves — becoming real, authentic, and available to life as it is.

The courage to feel fully

The metaphor of the glove is a beautiful one for mindfulness. When we “wear gloves,” our contact with experience is dulled — we go through the motions of living, but we’re slightly removed from the raw immediacy of it all. Mindfulness asks us to take off the gloves, to allow the cold, wet, and soft textures of life to reach us directly.

In compassion practice, this openness becomes an act of courage. It’s not about exposing ourselves recklessly, but about meeting our own vulnerability — and the vulnerability of others — with gentleness. Compassion doesn’t mean fixing or rescuing; it means being willing to stay present, to touch the world with bare hands and an open heart.

Teaching as a practice of ungloving

For teachers of mindfulness and compassion, Nepo’s words hold a deep invitation. Teaching itself can be an act of ungloving — of showing up as a real human being, not as a polished instructor. When we model authenticity, honesty, and presence, we create a safe space for our participants to do the same.

In our teaching groups, sharing this quote could open a rich discussion about vulnerability in teaching. What “gloves” do we find ourselves putting on when we teach? How do we protect ourselves from discomfort, uncertainty, or emotional exposure? And what might it look like to gently take those gloves off — to teach from a place of grounded openness, where real connection can happen?

Living ungloved

Mark Nepo’s wisdom reminds us that mindfulness and compassion are not about striving to become a better version of ourselves, but about uncovering what is already here — the tender, unprotected, beautifully human heart.

To live “ungloved” is to live awake.
To teach “ungloved” is to model aliveness.
And to practice in this way — both in our personal lives and our teaching — is to remember, again and again, that the world is waiting to be felt.

Further reading and resources

For readers who wish to explore these themes further:

From Safe Space to Brave Space: A Mindfulness Teacher’s Call to Compassionate Courage

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From Safe Space to Brave Space

A Mindfulness Teacher’s Call to Compassionate Courage

Within mindfulness and compassion teaching, much emphasis is placed on creating safe space—a container of presence where participants are invited to arrive as they are. Yet the world in which we teach is not always safe. It is marked by grief, injustice, and collective trauma that enter the room with every participant. In such a climate, the invitation is not only to create safety, but to evolve that safety into brave space—a space where truth, vulnerability, and justice-centered compassion are welcomed and held with care. There is a deeper invitation available to us: to nurture such a profound inner safety that it becomes the foundation from which we step into the world with courage, truth, and compassionate action. Safe space, when embodied, naturally evolves into brave space.

The First Safe Space Is the One Within

Humans are hard-wired for safety. Before we can be brave, we must feel rooted enough to withstand discomfort, complexity, and difference.

Cultivating that inner refuge begins not with perfection, but with curiosity. With knowledge. With a willingness to see ourselves clearly.

A Short Guided Practice: From Safe to Brave

1. Find your posture—sitting, standing, or lying down. Place your hands softly where they feel at ease.

2. Notice. Breath, sensations, subtle shifts. No need to fix anything—just witness.

3. Inhale slowly through the nose. Fill to the top. Pause. Feel your strength.
Exhale gently through the mouth, drawing the belly inward. Pause. Begin again.

4. Return to a natural rhythm. Notice the transition between breaths. Let your body be a safe place.

5. On the next breath, bring your palms together at your heart. Imagine holding something fragile and sacred. Feel tenderness.

6. Open the palms toward your chest like a mirror. Let your hands reflect the truth and compassion living in your heart right now.

7. Gently close the palms again, holding your intention. Soften your body.

8. Open your eyes or let them brighten if already open. Inhale into the safe space you have created. Feel its presence inside you.

9. Let your hands lift above your head, then circle outward and back toward your heart—expanding your field of safety into a wider brave space.

Here, in this breath, bravery lives.

 

Teaching in Times of Collective Pain

Moments of societal crisis—especially those involving racialised violence and systemic injustice—bring heightened emotional charge into the learning space. Participants may arrive with grief, outrage, numbness, fear, or weariness. Teachers, too, carry their own responses. Rather than suppressing or bypassing these realities, mindful facilitation invites grounded acknowledgement.

This approach aligns with the spirit of “Brave Space” articulated by community facilitator Micky ScottBey Jones, whose poem An Invitation to Brave Space emphasises that while no space can be entirely safe, it can be held with courage, love, and collective responsibility. The poem encourages practitioners to stand together in the imperfect work of healing, rather than seeking protection through silence. (Link included in the resource section below.)

Naming Suffering Without Causing Harm

Injustice and systemic oppression cannot be addressed through silence. For many mindfulness teachers, especially those navigating racial dynamics or confronting their own social conditioning, there can be a hesitancy to speak. However, unacknowledged suffering often deepens harm.

A justice-informed teaching approach encourages:

  • Awareness before intervention — Teachers first attune to their internal responses to suffering and injustice.

  • Acknowledgment over avoidance — Naming the presence of pain in the room without centering personal discomfort.

  • Enquiry over certainty — Asking with humility rather than teaching from authority.

  • Compassionate witnessing — Allowing participants’ experiences to be held with respect and without defensiveness.

A brave space does not demand disclosure or emotional labor from marginalised participants. Instead, it creates conditions where what needs to be spoken can be spoken, and where silence can also be honored as a form of self-protection and agency.

Embodied Practice: Moving From Safe to Brave

Mindfulness teachers can support this transition through practices that ground participants in the body before engaging in dialogue. Simple forms of breath awareness, compassionate hand placement at the heart, or visualising safety within the body can establish enough internal stability to approach difficult truths with less reactivity.

Embodying safety allows teachers and participants alike to approach conversations about injustice not as intellectual debates but as felt experiences—rooted in humanity, dignity, and shared presence.

Toward a Compassionate Pedagogy of Justice

The work of building brave spaces in mindfulness teaching is not about perfection. It is about presence, responsibility, and an unwavering commitment to hold suffering with compassion while refusing to turn away from the systems that create it.

A justice-centered mindfulness pedagogy recognizes that:

  • Inner refuge supports outer courage.

  • Self-compassion fuels resilience for sustained engagement.

  • Naming suffering is a necessary step toward collective healing.

  • Brave space is co-created through humility, listening, and care.

As teachers, the invitation is to continue cultivating our own safe inner spaces while extending that safety outward in the form of courageous, compassionate action. In this way, mindfulness is not withdrawn from the world, but is deeply responsive to it.

Resources for Further Study and Teaching

▶ An Invitation to Brave Space — Micky ScottBey Jones
https://onbeing.org/poetry/an-invitation-to-brave-space/
A grounding poem widely used in justice-centered facilitation. Useful to open or close mindfulness sessions dealing with vulnerability and collective suffering.

▶ The Inner Work of Racial Justice — Rhonda V. Magee
https://www.rhondavmagee.com/
Explores how mindfulness and compassion practices can support racial awareness, healing, and social transformation. A key text for mindfulness teachers engaging with justice work.

▶ White Awake – Educational Resources on Race and Mindfulness
https://whiteawake.org/
Offers mindfulness-based workshops and resources specifically for those racialized as white to understand conditioning, privilege, and how to hold space responsibly.

▶ Anguish and Action – Obama Foundation
https://www.obama.org/anguish-and-action/
Provides educational resources and calls to action related to racial justice, designed to support those seeking to move from awareness into meaningful engagement.

▶ How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Talking About Race — TEDx Talk
(Search: title + TEDx)
A talk encouraging self-compassion and courage when engaging in conversations on race—helpful for teachers navigating fear of saying the wrong thing.

▶ Trauma-Informed Mindfulness Toolkit — Center for Trauma & Embodiment
https://www.traumasensitiveyoga.com/resources
A collection of resources on creating safer facilitation environments, integrating somatic awareness, and avoiding re-traumatization in mindfulness spaces.

▶ Rhonda Magee on Mindfulness and Race — On Being Interview
https://onbeing.org/programs/rhonda-magee-mindfulness-and-racial-healing/
A deeply reflective conversation on how inner practice meets systemic suffering, suitable for teacher inquiry and reflection.

▶ Black Liturgies — Cole Arthur Riley
https://www.instagram.com/blackliturgist/
A contemplative practice archive rooted in Black liberation theology and embodied spiritual care. Offers language for holding sorrow and resistance in sacred space.

▶ Mindfulness in Movement Spaces — BIPOC-Centered Facilitation Tools
(Search community-based organizations like The Nap Ministry, Healing Justice Lineages)
Provides examples of how rest, embodied presence, and mindfulness are being reclaimed in activist and BIPOC-led healing traditions.

The History and Origins of Mindfulness

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The History and Origins of Mindfulness

Explore mindfulness, from the buddha, to yoga and it's great journey to the western world.

Mindfulness is often thought of as a modern wellbeing practice, but its history stretches back thousands of years. At its heart, mindfulness is the simple yet profound act of paying attention to the present moment with openness, curiosity, and acceptance. While today it is often taught in secular settings—such as schools, workplaces, and healthcare—it has deep spiritual and philosophical roots in ancient traditions.

Ancient Beginnings

Mindfulness can be traced back to early Indian traditions, most notably Hinduism and Buddhism. Both traditions placed emphasis on awareness, meditation, and the cultivation of presence as a way of living in harmony with the world.

Hinduism and the Vedic Tradition

Hinduism is one of the oldest surviving religious traditions, with origins reaching back over 4,000 years. Within the Vedic texts, we find early references to meditation, breath awareness, and practices designed to steady the mind. These were seen as pathways to self-realisation and union with the divine. Texts such as the Bhagavad Gita speak of living with focus, balance, and discipline—principles that strongly resemble what we now describe as mindfulness.

The Buddha and the Central Role of Mindfulness

Around 2,500 years ago, Siddhartha Gautama—the Buddha—developed teachings that placed mindfulness (sati in Pali) at the very centre of the path to liberation. In Buddhism, mindfulness is one of the steps of the Noble Eightfold Path, described as the way to reduce suffering and cultivate wisdom.

Here, mindfulness was not just a practice for quiet moments on a meditation cushion, but a way of living: being aware of one’s body, feelings, thoughts, and surroundings in each moment. This understanding of mindfulness as both a meditative practice and a guiding principle for daily life has shaped how it has been taught across generations.

Mindfulness and Yoga

Yoga, which also has its roots in the Indian tradition, overlaps significantly with mindfulness. Beyond the postures that are so well known in the West today, yoga has always been a wider philosophy aimed at uniting body, mind, and spirit. Many yoga practices, such as breath awareness (pranayama) and meditation, are essentially mindfulness in action.

Research today continues to show that people who practise yoga often report higher levels of mindfulness, demonstrating the close relationship between these two ancient paths.

 

The Journey to the West

While mindfulness has been practised in Eastern cultures for thousands of years, its introduction to the West has been more recent. From the mid-20th century onwards, teachers such as Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Zen master, began to share mindfulness in accessible ways that could be understood outside of a Buddhist framework. His writings and teachings brought mindfulness into everyday language, with an emphasis on compassion and simple, daily practice.

Another key figure in this journey was Jon Kabat-Zinn, who studied with Buddhist teachers and later developed Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) in the late 1970s. His work helped bridge Eastern wisdom with Western science, opening the door for mindfulness to be used in hospitals, schools, and beyond.

Alongside Kabat-Zinn, teachers like Jack Kornfield, Sharon Salzberg, and Joseph Goldstein founded centres such as the Insight Meditation Society, helping to embed mindfulness practice in Western contexts while keeping its Buddhist roots visible.

A Universal Human Practice

Although Buddhism and Hinduism are often highlighted in discussions of mindfulness, it is important to remember that similar practices of contemplation and presence exist across many traditions. In Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, there are forms of prayer and reflection that encourage present-moment awareness. This shows that mindfulness is not exclusive to any one religion, but rather a universal human capacity that can be nurtured in many different ways.

Mindfulness Today

Today, mindfulness is taught in a wide variety of settings—from meditation centres to community groups, schools, and healthcare services. For some, it is a spiritual path; for others, it is a practical tool for reducing stress and cultivating wellbeing. What remains constant is the essence: bringing awareness to the here and now, with kindness and curiosity.

A Takeaway

When we practise mindfulness today, we are joining a lineage that stretches back thousands of years. Whether it is through quiet meditation, mindful breathing, or simply paying attention as we wash the dishes, we are taking part in a tradition that has been passed from generation to generation.

Mindfulness, at its heart, is about being fully alive in the present moment. Its history may be long and complex, but its practice remains beautifully simple.

Further Reading and Resources

Here are some excellent places to explore the history, philosophy, and practice of mindfulness in more depth:

Mindfulness & Neurodivergence: What to Know, What to Watch Out For, and What to Do

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Mindfulness & Neurodivergence

What to Know, What to Watch Out For, and What to Do

If you’re teaching mindfulness, you probably already know how powerful it can be. But working with neurodivergent people sometimes means rethinking the usual assumptions, adapting things, and being extra attentive to how our participants are experiencing the practice. Here are some of the things you might want to think about, and some simple tweaks to help the group stay connected, safe, and benefitting.

What the Research & Lived Experience Suggest

Before jumping into the “how,” it helps to know what studies and people are telling us.

  • Feasibility and benefit: Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) adapted for autistic adults shows it can be acceptable, feasible, and helpful — with reduced stress and better coping (PMC study).

  • Potential adverse effects: Some neurodivergent people report that certain practices worsened anxiety or felt overwhelming (Mindful.org).

  • Sensory & attention differences are key: things like sensory overload, fidgeting, or needing to move can strongly influence how mindfulness is experienced (Time Timer blog).

  • Adaptations improve outcomes: shorter practices, clearer structure, sensory adjustments, and flexible delivery often make mindfulness more accessible (Autistica research).

Find out more

Potential Pitfalls You Might Run Into

  1. “Stillness = peace” assumption — long silent sits can feel like distress, not calm (Autism Research Institute).

  2. Ambiguous instructions — metaphors may confuse more literal thinkers (ADDitude Magazine on ADHD & mindfulness).

  3. Sensory overload — light, sound, smell, temperature can derail focus (NHS Autism sensory differences).

  4. Emotional overwhelm — mindfulness can bring up trauma or dysregulated states (Frontiers in Psychology: Adverse effects).

  5. Attention/executive function challenges — difficulty sustaining practice between sessions (CHADD on ADHD mindfulness).

  6. Fear of failing — feeling they’re “bad” at mindfulness when the mind wanders (American Mindfulness Research Association).

Some Simple Steps & Tricks You Might Try

  • Shorten practices: Try 3–5 minutes rather than 20. (Psychology Today)

  • Movement options: Walking meditation, yoga, even pacing or fidgeting can count (Harvard Health).

  • Sensory-friendly environments: adjust lighting, allow headphones/earplugs, comfortable seating (National Autistic Society).

  • Clear, literal instructions: avoid heavy metaphors; offer concrete anchors like “notice where your feet touch the floor.”

  • Structure & predictability: give written outlines, visual schedules, time warnings (Autistic Self Advocacy Network).

  • Normalize variation: remind people there’s no “right” way. (Mindful.org).

  • Adapt homework: micro practices, daily-life mindfulness, phone reminders. (Greater Good Science Center).

Why It Matters

When you adapt, you’ll likely see:

  • Better attendance & retention

  • More comfort and safety in the group

  • Deeper engagement and less dropout

  • A richer, more inclusive mindfulness space

And truthfully — these changes help everyone, not just neurodivergent participants.

Find out more

Extra Resources for You to Explore