Blog

The 10 Attitudes of Compassion – Embracing the Yin and Yang of Compassionate Practice

by

The 10 Attitudes of Compassion

Balancing the Yin and Yang of Compassionate Practice

The 10 Attitudes of Compassion were developed by Madeleine Agnew and Nick Cooke as a core teaching element within the CFW (Compassion Focused Wellbeing) Programme. Designed to support participants in exploring the deeper foundations of compassionate living, these attitudes act as guiding principles—helping us both cultivate compassion and recognise it as a natural capacity already present within us.

Just as mindfulness has its attitudes, compassion too has its inner qualities—some gentle and soothing (Yin), others protective and powerful (Yang). To live compassionately is to learn how to hold both energies in balance: the softness that allows us to feel, and the strength that empowers us to act.

Like planting seeds in fertile soil, we begin by consciously nurturing these attitudes—practising kindness, building courage, learning to connect, and so on. At first, they may feel intentional, deliberate, even effortful. But over time, something subtle begins to shift. These attitudes stop feeling like things we’re trying to do and instead become qualities that rise naturally from within us—the fruits of a compassionate way of being.

In this way, the attitudes serve a dual purpose:

  • They guide us—helping us develop inner resilience, tenderness, and wisdom.

  • They reflect our growth—emerging effortlessly as signs of a compassionate heart in motion.

Just as mindfulness deepens through its attitudes, compassion matures through these qualities, revealing both the Yin (soft, receptive, nurturing) and the Yang (strong, protective, active) expressions of the compassionate life. True compassion is not one or the other—it is the dance between both.

To live compassionately is to learn how to hold both energies in balance: the softness that allows us to feel, and the strength that empowers us to act.

1. Courage – Yang

Recognising suffering takes bravery. Turning towards rather than away is the first step of compassion. Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the willingness to stay present with vulnerability, both in ourselves and others. It’s often the beginning of the compassionate journey.

2. Kindness – Yin

Kindness is the heartbeat of compassion, though it is often underestimated in its power. Soft, quiet, and nourishing, kindness allows us to meet pain with warmth rather than harshness. It is a gesture of care, whether expressed outwardly to others or inwardly towards ourselves.

3. Connection – Yin

Compassion awakens when we feel connected—to our inner experience and to the shared humanity of others. Through authentic connection and compassionate listening, we create safe spaces where suffering can be witnessed rather than hidden. Connection reminds us: we are not alone in this.

4. Wisdom – Yin & Yang

Wisdom helps us discern compassionate action from reaction. It invites reflection, self-honesty, and awareness. As Paul Gilbert reminds us, “Compassion without wisdom may be misguided, and courage without wisdom can become reckless.” Wisdom helps us act with clarity and integrity.

5. Assertiveness – Yang

Compassion is not passive. Assertiveness is its fierce expression—the willingness to set boundaries, speak truth, and honour our own needs without aggression. Assertive compassion says, “I matter too. I am worthy of care.” It protects what is sacred within us.

6. Tolerance – Yin

Tolerance is the spaciousness to hold discomfort, difference and uncertainty without immediate judgment or rejection. It is more than endurance—it is an active willingness to stay open-hearted, allowing growth and greater understanding to emerge.

7. Action – Yang

Compassion calls us not only to feel but to respond. Action is compassion in motion—a step, however small, towards easing suffering. Yet compassionate action is thoughtful, guided by kindness and wisdom rather than urgency or guilt.

8. Forgiveness – Yin

Forgiveness softens the grip of resentment and self-criticism. It does not deny harm but creates space for healing. Through forgiveness, we release the armour of blame and open the door to freedom, both for ourselves and others.

9. Love – Yin & Yang

Love lives at the centre of compassion. It is both gentle and strong, tender and courageous. To love compassionately is to recognise the worth and dignity of all beings, including ourselves. Love invites us to hold suffering not with pity, but with reverence and care.

10. Gratitude – Yin

Gratitude is the art of noticing. Even amidst pain, it invites us to acknowledge what is still nourishing, beautiful, or steady. Gratitude rewires us towards balance, reminding us that alongside struggle, there is still grace.

Become a Teacher of Compassion Focused Wellbeing

For mindfulness teachers looking to integrate compassion more formally into their work, the Compassion Focused Wellbeing (CFW) teacher training programme is an excellent next step.

Created by Nick Cooke and Madeleine Agnew, this UK-based accredited course combines the latest insights from Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC), and the Mindfulness Now programme (which blends MBSR and MBCT). It’s trauma-informed, research-based, and incredibly practical.

Graduates become part of a growing community of licensed and accredited CFW teachers, equipped to deliver compassion-focused courses, retreats, and one-to-one sessions.

Find out more

Living the Attitudes

These attitudes are not fixed traits but living practices—qualities that grow with time, intention and self-reflection. Some days, compassion asks us to soften. Other days, it asks us to rise. To walk the compassionate path is to continually dance between Yin and Yang—between gentle acceptance and empowered action.

Ready to Learn More?

Explore the Compassion Focused Wellbeing Teacher Training with the UK College of Mindfulness Meditation and take your mindfulness teaching to the next level.

Useful Links & References

  • CFW Compassion Focused Wellbeing https://mindfulnessnow.org.uk/compassion-focused-wellbeing/

  • Paul Gilbert – The Compassionate Mind

  • Dr. Kristin Neff – Fierce Self-Compassion

  • www.compassionatemind.co.uk

  • www.chrisgermer.com

  • www.centerformsc.org (Mindful Self-Compassion resources)

  • TED Talk: The Power of Vulnerability – Brené Brown

  • Neff, K. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward One

Statement of Solidarity with the Trans Community

by

In Solidarity with Our Trans and Gender-Diverse Community

You are seen. You are valued. You are welcome.

Mindfulness Now understands the severity of what trans people are experiencing at this time, and we want to be absolutely clear: you are welcome here.

We are in full solidarity with our trans and gender-diverse community – we see you, we hear you, and we are standing with you. This isn’t just a statement—it’s a commitment.

We are actively working to ensure that all aspects of our programmes reflect our intrinsic mindful values of compassion, loving-kindness, inclusivity, and common humanity.

This commitment includes:

  • Continually updating and developing inclusive policies

  • Creating meaningful training for our Mindfulness Now teachers around gender identity, trans experiences, and the use of inclusive language

  • Ensuring a safe, supportive, and affirming environment within our training and across the wider Mindfulness Now community of teachers and learners

We recognise that this work is never finished. We are committed to ongoing listening, learning, and action—to ensure our words are matched by our behaviours and systems

With love, compassion and human connection — we are with you.

In support of Trans, Non-Binary and Gender-Questioning Communities

The recent UK Supreme Court ruling defining women by biological sex under equalities law has understandably led to deep anxiety and concern among trans, non-binary and gender-questioning (TNBGQ) individuals.

At Mindfulness Now, we stand in unwavering solidarity with TNBGQ communities. We are a training college committed to inclusion, safety, compassion and respect for all identities — not only during this challenging time, but always.

Our Commitment to Inclusivity

Mindfulness Now is a trauma-informed training provider offering mindfulness-based therapeutic training and support. Our ethos is grounded in kindness, equity, and care for all people.

We aim to be a space where TNBGQ students, graduates, teachers, and clients feel seen, safe and fully respected.

We commit to:

  • Championing the dignity, diversity and lived experience of TNBGQ people

  • Continuously improving our teaching, guidance and support with inclusivity at the core

  • Removing barriers to access and participation across all aspects of our training and community

  • Listening, learning, and reflecting with humility and compassion

Every person’s experience of gender is valid and deserves full respect. We honour the individuality and identity of each person in our courses, trainings and community.

Understanding the Supreme Court Ruling

The UK Supreme Court ruled that under the Equality Act 2010, the legal definition of a woman refers to biological sex. This means trans women with Gender Recognition Certificates may be excluded from some women-only spaces or services.

However, trans and non-binary individuals remain protected under equality law from discrimination, harassment, and victimisation.

We understand that this ruling may raise questions and distress for many in our community, including mindfulness students, graduates, trainers, and clients.

How We’re Responding

We are currently exploring the implications of this ruling for our training, teaching practice and professional guidance. We are:

  • Consulting with legal experts, inclusion advocates, and those with lived experience

  • Reviewing our training content, policies and materials to ensure clarity, compassion and inclusivity

  • Creating safe channels for discussion, feedback and lived experience to be heard

We acknowledge that our community includes a rich diversity of views, backgrounds and life stories. We believe that mindfulness must be a space where people are not only welcome — but safe.

What Mindfulness Means Here

Mindfulness is not neutral. It must be rooted in ethics, care and courage. It must stand up for those who are marginalised or harmed.

That means:

  • Adopting a trauma-aware and participant-led approach

  • Holding space with sensitivity, humility and care

  • Ensuring personal beliefs do not override inclusive, ethical practice

  • Speaking out against all forms of discrimination and harm, including transphobia, racism, ableism, ageism, homophobia, sexism, Islamophobia and antisemitism

We welcome your comments

We know we can always do better—and we want to. If you have thoughts, ideas, or feedback about how we can improve our teacher training, create safer spaces, or help people feel more seen and included, please get in touch.

Contact Us

Resources and Support

We will always be here to support members of the Mindfulness Now community and you are always welcome to reach out to us.

 

Your Voice Matters

We welcome feedback, reflections and ideas on how we can better serve the TNBGQ community through our trainings, teacher development, and public offerings.

Contact us: info@mindfulnessnow.org.uk
Website: mindfulnessnow.org.uk

Together, we can cultivate mindfulness spaces rooted in awareness, kindness and justice. This is not just good practice — it is essential.

Teaching Compassion in the Classroom

by

Teaching Compassion in the Classroom: Why Train as a Compassion Focused Wellbeing Practitioner

Compassion Training for Teachers and Educators

In today’s classrooms, young people face increasing levels of stress, anxiety, self-criticism, and emotional overwhelm. As educators and wellbeing leaders, there’s a growing need to support not just academic progress but also the emotional and mental wellbeing of students.

Compassion Focused Wellbeing (CFW) training offers a powerful approach to address these needs.

Developed as an integrated blend of Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC), and mindfulness-based approaches like MBSR and MBCT, CFW equips teachers and facilitators with tools to help young people navigate life with greater kindness, resilience, and emotional awareness.

🌱 Why Train in Compassion Focused Wellbeing?

Becoming a CFW practitioner enables you to guide others through structured, evidence-based practices that build emotional strength, soften self-criticism, and support trauma-sensitive wellbeing. The training covers both 8-week and 4-week CFW programmes, tailored for adults, teens, and younger children.

This training is ideal for:

  • Mindfulness teachers

  • Educators and teaching assistants

  • Youth workers and school wellbeing leads

  • Therapists and mental health practitioners

  • Anyone supporting the wellbeing of young people

Upon qualification, you’ll join a network of licensed, accredited CFW teachers, supported by the UK College of Mindfulness Meditation. The course is accredited by respected organisations such as the Mindfulness Teachers Association (MTA) and the National Register of Psychotherapists and Counsellors (NRPC).

BOOK TRAINING TODAY

The Wellbeing Benefits of Compassion for Young People

Children and teenagers are at a unique developmental stage—navigating identity, social pressures, and emotional intensity. Compassion practices can help them:

1. Reduce Self-Criticism and Inner Shame

Teens often carry harsh inner voices. Compassion-based journalling and letter writing teach them to speak to themselves more kindly. Research indicates that self-compassion is associated with greater psychological health, including increased life satisfaction and emotional resilience, and decreased anxiety and depression 1.

2. Regulate Difficult Emotions

Using tools like the three emotional regulation systems (threat, drive, and soothing), students can better understand and manage their stress responses. This framework is central to Compassion Focused Therapy, which aims to help individuals develop and work with experiences of inner warmth, safeness, and soothing through compassion and self-compassion 2.

3. Build Resilience and Self-Worth

Rather than focusing on achievements or comparison, compassion practices help children value themselves from the inside out. Teaching compassion to kids enhances their emotional intelligence and fosters empathy, creating a foundation for nurturing relationships 3.

4. Strengthen Social Connection

Compassion for self naturally extends to others. Exercises in empathy, common humanity, and non-judgment help foster safer, more inclusive classrooms. Empathy and inclusivity are essential values that help promote a safe and inviting environment in which all students can learn effectively 4.

5. Improve Focus and Mental Health

Research shows that compassion-based mindfulness improves emotional wellbeing, reduces anxiety, and can enhance academic focus and motivation. Implementing social-emotional learning (SEL) programs in schools is associated with improved academic performance and reduced aggression 5.

What’s Included in the CFW Training?

The Compassion Focused Wellbeing training includes:

  • The 10 Attitudes of Compassion

  • The history and fundamentals of CFT, MSC, and the Mindfulness Now programme

  • Age-appropriate compassion practices for teens and children

  • Teaching the 4-week CFW programme for young people

  • Trauma-informed teaching & understanding “backdraft”

  • Creative tools: visualisation, journalling, movement, and touch

  • Compassionate boundaries and self-care as a practitioner

  • Support in leading both group sessions and 1-to-1 work

For more details, visit the Compassion Focused Wellbeing Teacher Training page.

FIND OUT MORE

Compassion in Schools Isn’t a Luxury—It’s a Lifeline

In a world where children are growing up with increasing pressure and emotional challenges, compassion is no longer a “nice-to-have”—it’s a core life skill.

Training in Compassion Focused Wellbeing allows you to bring these life-changing tools into the classroom, supporting emotional safety, growth, and connection in every lesson.

CONTACT THE COLLEGE

Ready to Make a Difference?

Learn more about CFW Teacher Training and how you can become a licensed Compassion Focused Wellbeing practitioner with the UK College of Mindfulness Meditation.

The children and teens you work with may never forget the maths you taught—but they’ll always remember how safe and seen they felt in your presence.

Why Every Mindfulness Teacher Should Also Train in Compassion

by

Why Every Mindfulness Teacher Should Also Train in Compassion

Linking Compassion Training and Mindfulness Teacher Training

As mindfulness continues to grow in popularity and impact, there’s a deeper truth emerging among experienced teachers and researchers alike: mindfulness without compassion is incomplete. While mindfulness teaches awareness and presence, it’s compassion that helps us meet what we find with kindness, courage, and emotional wisdom.

In today’s increasingly complex and emotionally demanding world, the most impactful mindfulness teachers are those who also understand—and embody—compassion-based approaches.

💗 Mindfulness and Compassion: Two Wings of the Same Bird

Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), has long emphasised that mindfulness is “not just about paying attention—it’s about how we pay attention.” Compassion is that how.

Likewise, Kristin Neff, pioneer of Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC), describes mindfulness and compassion as “two wings of a bird”—both are needed to fly. Without compassion, mindfulness risks becoming overly clinical, detached, or even self-critical.

For mindfulness teachers, adding compassion training deepens your practice and transforms how you support others.

🌱 Why Compassion Training Matters for Mindfulness Teachers

Here are some key reasons every mindfulness teacher should also train in compassion:

1. Compassion is Essential for Emotional Healing

Mindfulness increases awareness of suffering—but compassion provides the tools to meet it. Compassion-focused training helps participants work with shame, trauma, and emotional pain in a safe and empowering way.

2. Compassion Builds Resilience and Motivation

While mindfulness calms the mind, compassion energises the heart. It activates our soothing system, helping people move from survival mode to growth. This is especially valuable for clients experiencing anxiety, depression, or burnout.

3. You’ll Become a More Trauma-Informed Teacher

Understanding concepts from Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)—like the threat, drive, and soothing systems—helps you teach with greater sensitivity and safety. You’ll be better equipped to spot and respond to signs of overwhelm, backdraft, or resistance.

4. It Expands Your Teaching Toolkit

Compassion training introduces a wide range of practices like compassionate journalling, letter writing, creative visualisation, movement, and soothing touch. These tools enhance engagement and adaptability for both 1-to-1 and group work.

5. It Supports Your Own Wellbeing as a Teacher

Compassion practices don’t just benefit your students—they help you too. You’ll learn to navigate burnout, imposter syndrome, and emotional fatigue with more grace and kindness. In short: compassion helps you keep showing up.

 

🧘‍♀️ Become a Teacher of Compassion Focused Wellbeing

For mindfulness teachers looking to integrate compassion more formally into their work, the Compassion Focused Wellbeing (CFW) teacher training programme is an excellent next step.

Created by Nick Cooke and Madeleine Agnew, this UK-based accredited course combines the latest insights from Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC), and the Mindfulness Now programme (which blends MBSR and MBCT). It’s trauma-informed, research-based, and incredibly practical.

Graduates become part of a growing community of licensed and accredited CFW teachers, equipped to deliver compassion-focused courses, retreats, and one-to-one sessions.

Find out more

🗝️ The Future of Mindfulness Is Compassionate

If mindfulness is the foundation, compassion is the house. In a world where so many are living in survival mode, simply paying attention is no longer enough. People need to know they’re held, not just observed.

By training in compassion, you deepen your own humanity—and help others do the same. It’s not just the next step in your teaching journey; it’s a vital evolution.

👉 Ready to Learn More?

Explore the Compassion Focused Wellbeing Teacher Training with the UK College of Mindfulness Meditation and take your mindfulness teaching to the next level.

What Is the N.I.A Language Model? A Trauma-Sensitive Guide for Mindfulness Teachers

by

What Is the N.I.A Language Model? A Trauma-Sensitive Guide for Mindfulness and Beyond

Teaching Mindfulness using the trauma informed language model N.I.A

In trauma-informed spaces, how we speak matters just as much as what we teach. That’s exactly why the N.I.A Language Model was developed—a simple, powerful framework to help mindfulness teachers communicate in ways that foster emotional safety, choice, and trust.

But this model isn’t just for mindfulness teachers. As trauma-informed care becomes a gold standard across health, education, and wellbeing fields, the N.I.A model is quickly becoming an essential tool for anyone delivering trauma-sensitive support.

NIA Language model - trauma informed mindfulness

Who Created the N.I.A Language Model?

The N.I.A Language Model was co-developed by Nick Cooke and Madeleine Agnew—founders of the Mindfulness Now Teacher Training Programme.

Born from decades of experience in teaching, therapy, and trauma-informed practice, the model was designed as a practical language guide to help mindfulness teachers deliver their sessions in a way that is compassionate, flexible, and empowering—especially for individuals who may have experienced trauma.

What Does N.I.A Stand For?

N.I.A stands for:

1. N – Non-Directive Language

This is language that suggests, rather than instructs. It avoids commands and encourages gentle exploration.

Examples:

“Perhaps you’d like to notice your breath.”
“Maybe you could close your eyes—if that feels okay.”

2. I – Invitational Language

This encourages participants to make choices. It offers options without pressure.

Examples:

“I invite you to bring awareness to your body.”
“The invitation is to gently turn inward, but only if you wish.”

3. A – Adaptive Language

Adaptive language empowers participants to modify the practice in ways that feel safe and personal.

Examples:

“You can focus on your breath—or choose to notice sounds instead.”
“Feel free to adapt this in any way that works for you.”

 

Why Is the N.I.A Language Model So Useful?

For people with trauma histories, certain mindfulness instructions can feel triggering or unsafe. Phrases like “close your eyes now” or “stay with the discomfort” can lead to disconnection, panic, or a sense of losing control.

The N.I.A model offers a trauma-sensitive alternative that:

  • Encourages choice and autonomy

  • Reduces the risk of re-triggering trauma

  • Builds trust between teacher and participant

  • Creates a more inclusive space for everyone

In other words, it meets people where they are—and lets them take the lead.

 

How Easy Is It to Use in Mindfulness Teaching?

One of the best parts of the N.I.A model is its simplicity. You don’t need to change your entire script—just adjust your wording and tone.

Small shifts in language like:

  • “Notice your breath” → “You might like to notice your breath”

  • “Sit still” → “You could choose to be still, or move if that feels right”

…can make a huge difference in how safe and supported participants feel.

With just a little practice, the N.I.A language style becomes second nature—and transforms your teaching into a space of true compassion and empowerment.

 

An Essential Element of Trauma-Informed Mindfulness Teacher Training

The Mindfulness Now Teacher Training Programme has placed the N.I.A model at the heart of its curriculum. It’s not an optional add-on—it’s a core competency.

Why?

Because trauma-informed teaching is no longer optional. It’s essential.

Whether you’re leading a group meditation or offering one-to-one therapeutic support, your language can help participants:

  • Feel safe in their bodies

  • Maintain a sense of agency

  • Engage in mindfulness in a way that supports—not threatens—their nervous system

👉 Learn how to create trauma-sensitive spaces with the Mindfulness Now course here.

 

Beyond Mindfulness: A Tool for All Trauma-Informed Work

Although the N.I.A model was developed specifically for mindfulness teaching, its principles apply broadly across:

  • Therapy and counselling

  • Coaching and mentoring

  • Yoga and movement practices

  • Social care and education

Anyone working in trauma-informed care can benefit from using N.I.A-style language—because it places safety, choice, and compassion at the heart of communication.

Final Thoughts: Why N.I.A Matters

In a world where trauma is common but often invisible, the N.I.A Language Model offers a simple yet profound shift: from telling to inviting, from directing to empowering.

Whether you’re a mindfulness teacher, therapist, educator, or healthcare professional, adopting the N.I.A model means you’re doing more than teaching or guiding—you’re helping people feel safe, seen, and in control.

It’s a small change in words… with a big impact

Find out more about trauma informed mindfulness teacher training click here

or for a 4 minute long practice click here 

For mindfulness teacher training click here

For CPD trauma informed mindfulness training for mindfulness teachers click here

References

  1. David Treleaven – Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness
    🔗 https://davidtreleaven.com
  2. Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness (Book on Amazon)
    🔗 https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Sensitive-Mindfulness-Practices-Transformative-Healing/dp/0393709787
  3. CASAT OnDemand – The Need for Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness
    🔗 https://casatondemand.org/2023/02/02/the-need-for-trauma-sensitive-mindfulness
  4. Psych Central – Trauma-Informed Mindfulness
    🔗 https://psychcentral.com/health/trauma-informed-mindfulness
  5. Psychology Today – Trauma-Informed Mindfulness
    🔗 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/choosing-your-meditation-style/202006/trauma-informed-mindfulness
  6. Grand Rising Behavioral Health – Role of Mindfulness in Trauma Healing
    🔗 https://www.grandrisingbehavioralhealth.com/blog/role-of-mindfulness-in-trauma-healing
  7. Wikipedia – Trauma-Informed Mindfulness
    🔗 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trauma-informed_mindfulness
Academic & Clinical Studies
  1. NIH – Mindfulness as a Mediator Between Trauma and Mental Health
    🔗 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8500672
UK-Based Mindfulness Organisations

  1. Mindfulness Teachers Association – Trusted UK Mindfulness Training Providers
    🔗 https://mindfulnessteachers.org.uk

  2. British Psychological Society – Mindfulness Guidelines
    🔗 https://www.bps.org.uk/news-and-policy/mindfulness-guidelines