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The Obstacle is the Way: Mindfulness in Action

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The Obstacle is the Way: Mindfulness in Action

“The obstacle on the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to practice.”
— Marcus Aurelius

This phrase from the Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius has inspired generations of thinkers, leaders, and practitioners. At first glance, it may seem counterintuitive: how can the difficulties, frustrations, and challenges we encounter become the very thing that guides us forward? Yet this idea resonates profoundly with mindfulness practice, particularly for Mindfulness Now teachers and the participants they support.

Obstacles as Invitations to Presence

Mindfulness teaches us to notice what arises in each moment—pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral—without judgment or resistance. Challenges are inevitable: thoughts that won’t settle, physical discomfort, difficult emotions, or external disruptions. Marcus Aurelius’ insight reminds us that these very obstacles are the fuel for our practice.

For teachers, this principle is essential: the difficulties encountered in teaching—managing a diverse group, handling unexpected questions, or navigating moments of tension—become opportunities to model mindfulness in real time. The obstacle is not a failure; it is the classroom.

 

Embodiment of Mindfulness

When teachers embody mindfulness, they show participants what is possible. Accepting obstacles, staying present, and responding with curiosity rather than reactivity becomes a live demonstration of practice. The obstacle—the disruptive thought, the challenging participant, the uncertainty in session planning—becomes a chance to cultivate patience, compassion, and equanimity.

In this way, teachers are not just sharing content; they are sharing a lived experience of mindfulness. Participants see that mindfulness is not about escaping life’s difficulties, but engaging with them fully and skillfully.

Obstacles Shape the Teaching

Every challenge encountered in a session or programme is a mirror. It shows where participants (and teachers) are holding tension, resisting reality, or avoiding discomfort. A question that seems off-topic, a participant who struggles to focus, or an unexpected scheduling issue—all are microcosms of life’s larger challenges.

Mindfulness Now teachers can use these moments to:

  • Pause and model presence

  • Reflect on how to guide the group with openness

  • Offer participants practical ways to engage with difficulty without judgment

These moments deepen learning. The obstacle is the teaching.

Obstacles as Learning Opportunities for Participants

Participants on the Mindfulness Now programme also encounter obstacles: wandering minds, self-critical thoughts, or emotional resistance. Using Marcus Aurelius’ insight, these challenges are not setbacks but essential elements of the journey.

Encouraging participants to notice obstacles, breathe into them, and explore them with curiosity helps them:

  • Recognize habitual patterns of resistance

  • Develop resilience and patience

  • Understand that mindfulness is about engaging fully with life, not escaping it

Each obstacle becomes a doorway to self-understanding, presence, and acceptance.

The Circle of Practice

For Mindfulness Now teachers, the principle “the obstacle is the way” creates a virtuous circle:

  1. Teachers meet challenges with mindfulness.

  2. Participants observe and learn through this embodied example.

  3. Participants engage with their own obstacles as part of practice.

  4. The entire learning environment deepens, showing that mindfulness is not a technique but a lived, shared process.

In other words, the very difficulties that might seem like barriers are, in fact, the curriculum.

Bringing It Into Your Practice

  • Notice the obstacle: When difficulty arises, pause and observe what is happening inside and around you.

  • Investigate with curiosity: Ask what this situation can teach you, or what opportunity it presents.

  • Respond skillfully: Choose your action from a place of clarity rather than reaction.

  • Reflect on learning: Consider how this challenge informs both your practice and your teaching.

By embracing the obstacles, we transform challenges into the core of our practice. As Marcus Aurelius reminds us, “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

For Mindfulness Now teachers and participants alike, obstacles are not interruptions—they are the heart of mindfulness itself. Each challenge is an invitation to embody presence, share the teaching authentically, and support others in discovering that even difficulty can be a path forward.

Further reading and resources

  • Marcus Aurelius — “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Goodreads+2TheCollector+2

  • The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday — Examines this Stoic idea in depth and its application in modern life. Donald J. Robertson+2Farnam Street+2

  • “The Obstacle Becomes the Way” (Medium article) — Explores how challenges can become the pathway rather than a barrier. Medium

  • “What Stands in the Way Becomes the Way” (Shortform summary) — A concise explanation of how the quote can be applied in everyday contexts. Shortform

  • “5 Quotes from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations Explained” — Gives broader context for the original quote and other related Stoic principles. TheCollector

  • “This Is The Most Common Obstacle” (Daily Stoic) — Demonstrates how the principle shows up in ordinary life, not just in big heroic moments. Daily Stoic

Mindfulness, Self-Love, and the Subtle Aggression of Self-Improvement

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Mindfulness, Self-Love, and the Subtle Aggression of Self-Improvement

“Don’t meditate to fix yourself, to improve yourself, to redeem yourself; rather, do it as an act of love, of deep warm friendship to yourself. In this way there is no longer any need for the subtle aggression of self-improvement, for the endless guilt of not doing enough. It offers the possibility of an end to the ceaseless round of trying so hard that wraps so many people’s lives in a knot. Instead, there is now a meditation as an act of love. How endlessly delightful and encouraging.”
— Bob Sharples, Meditation: Calming the Mind

The first time I heard this quote, something inside me paused. That phrase—“the subtle aggression of self-improvement, the endless guilt of not doing enough”—landed like truth.

In a world obsessed with progress, upgrades, and constant optimization, we’re often taught to treat ourselves like a project under construction. Meditation becomes a productivity tool. Reading becomes a way to get ahead. Even rest becomes a strategy to work better later.

We forget that love—not improvement—is our deepest nourishment.

When Growth Becomes a Disguised Form of Self-Rejection

After hearing Sharples’ words, I looked at my ever-growing library of books and felt a ripple of discomfort. Was my love of learning truly rooted in curiosity… or had it become another method of proving my worth? Another metric. Another quiet whisper of “not enough yet.”

That moment helped me see the deeper message of the quote—not as a rule against growth, but as a gentle redirection of intention.

The problem isn’t growth—it’s growth fueled by self-rejection.
Meditation as an Act of Love, Not a Project

Sharples speaks specifically about meditation, reminding us that we are allowed to arrive in practice without an agenda. To sit—not to improve, but to be with ourselves. To breathe without trying to be better at breathing. To exist without trying to optimize our existence.

Pema Chödrön, in When Things Fall Apart, echoes this beautifully: “We already have everything we need.” Her teachings invite us to drop the constant urge to self-correct and instead rest in the simple intimacy of being human.

Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, emphasizes mindfulness as awareness embodied with kindness, not just attention sharpened for performance. Meditation as friendship, not discipline.

Self-Compassion Over Self-Criticism

According to Kristin Neff, the pioneering researcher of self-compassion, most of us have been conditioned to believe that criticism drives improvement. But research shows the opposite—gentleness builds resilience, while judgment creates burnout.

This aligns deeply with Tara Brach’s work in Radical Acceptance, where she speaks of “the trance of unworthiness” and the healing power of approaching ourselves with compassion, not condemnation.

Reclaiming Growth as a Celebration, Not a Punishment

So, no—I didn’t stop reading. My library still grows. But my relationship with learning has softened.

I don’t pick up a book thinking “I should know more.”
I pick it up thinking “How wonderful that I get to learn.”

That small shift changes everything.

Growth born from love feels like expansion. Growth born from fear feels like pressure.

A New Way Forward

Meditate as a gesture of love, not a self-improvement checklist.

Read because curiosity is joy, not because knowledge promises worthiness.

Grow because your spirit is dynamic, not because your current self is inadequate.

You don’t need to improve yourself to earn your own love. You can love yourself now—and let that love be the fuel for your unfolding.

References

Bob Sharples – Meditation: Calming the Mind (summary):
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1866735.Meditation

Tara Brach – Radical Acceptance Official Page:
https://www.tarabrach.com/radical-acceptance/

Kristin Neff – Official Self-Compassion Research & Test:
https://self-compassion.org/

Pema Chödrön – When Things Fall Apart Information:
https://pemachodronfoundation.org/books-and-audio/

Jon Kabat-Zinn – Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Overview:
https://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/mindfulness-based-programs/mbsr/

Tara Brach Podcast & Talks on Compassionate Practice:
https://www.tarabrach.com/podcasts/

Additional Meditation Teachings from Jon Kabat-Zinn:
https://www.mindfulnesscds.com/

Mindfulness Teaching, Cultural Roots, and the Call for Integrity

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Mindfulness Teaching, Cultural Roots, and the Call for Integrity

As mindfulness becomes more widely adopted in schools, healthcare settings, workplaces, and community programmes, teachers carry increasing responsibility—not just to deliver practices effectively, but to do so ethically and with cultural sensitivity. Mindfulness, as it is often taught in secular contexts, draws from contemplative traditions rooted in Buddhism and other Eastern philosophies. While a secular approach ensures accessibility and inclusivity for people of all faiths and none, it can unintentionally lead to cultural erasure or appropriation if not handled with awareness and integrity (Kabat-Zinn, 2011).

Honouring Roots Without Imposing Belief

Mindfulness in its modern form, especially within programmes like MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction), was intentionally designed to be secular to support accessibility in diverse settings (Kabat-Zinn, 1994). This approach allows individuals from all backgrounds to engage without feeling they are being invited into a specific religious or spiritual framework. However, acknowledging the lineage of these practices can deepen respect and understanding without requiring belief in any doctrine.

A simple way to do this is through transparent framing:

“Mindfulness as we explore it today has roots in ancient contemplative traditions. While we’ll approach it in a secular, inclusive way, it’s important to honour the cultures and wisdom from which these practices emerged.”

This approach allows space for history without imposing worldview.

Cultural Appropriation vs. Cultural Appreciation

Cultural appropriation occurs when elements from a culture are used without understanding, credit, or respect, often by those in a position of privilege (hooks, 1992). For mindfulness teachers, this might show up as using Sanskrit or Pali terms without context, borrowing symbols or rituals without understanding their sacred significance, or presenting mindfulness as something newly invented in the West.

Cultural appreciation, on the other hand, involves learning from the sources, citing lineage, using language respectfully, and avoiding commodification (Purser, 2019). When we share mindfulness as a secular tool, we can still signpost the historical traditions, invite curiosity, and encourage ongoing learning rather than presenting mindfulness as a detached wellness product.

Inclusivity and Language Sensitivity

Teachers can create inclusive spaces by using universal language that speaks to shared human experience while staying sensitive to different faith backgrounds. Rather than avoiding origins completely, we can frame them within a tone of humility and inquiry. Using language such as “for some traditions…” or “in its historical roots, mindfulness was understood as…” offers context without prescribing belief.

Compassionate Transparency

A compassionate and ethical teaching practice includes:

  • Attribution – Naming that mindfulness has roots in Buddhist traditions and other contemplative practices.

  • Humility – Acknowledging our own place in relation to those traditions and remaining open to learning.

  • Consent and Choice – Inviting participants to adapt language or practices based on their own values and beliefs.

  • Ongoing Reflection – Regularly checking in with our own motivations, sources, and teaching frameworks to ensure they align with values of respect and inclusion.

Moving Forward with Integrity

Mindfulness, at its heart, teaches us to meet each moment with awareness, compassion, and integrity. Bringing these qualities into our teaching practice means honouring both the accessibility of secular delivery and the cultural roots from which these powerful practices emerged. We don’t need to choose between inclusivity and respect for tradition—we can hold both with care.

References

hooks, b. (1992) Black Looks: Race and Representation. Boston: South End Press.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994) Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life. New York: Hyperion.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (2011) ‘Some reflections on the origins of MBSR, skillful means, and the trouble with maps’, Contemporary Buddhism, 12(1), pp. 281–306.

Purser, R. (2019) McMindfulness: How Mindfulness Became the New Capitalist Spirituality. London: Repeater Books.

Further References

The 10 Attitudes of Compassion – Embracing the Yin and Yang of Compassionate Practice

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The 10 Attitudes of Compassion

Balancing the Yin and Yang of Compassionate Practice

The 10 Attitudes of Compassion were developed by Madeleine Agnew and Nick Cooke as a core teaching element within the CFW (Compassion Focused Wellbeing) Programme. Designed to support participants in exploring the deeper foundations of compassionate living, these attitudes act as guiding principles—helping us both cultivate compassion and recognise it as a natural capacity already present within us.

Just as mindfulness has its attitudes, compassion too has its inner qualities—some gentle and soothing (Yin), others protective and powerful (Yang). To live compassionately is to learn how to hold both energies in balance: the softness that allows us to feel, and the strength that empowers us to act.

Like planting seeds in fertile soil, we begin by consciously nurturing these attitudes—practising kindness, building courage, learning to connect, and so on. At first, they may feel intentional, deliberate, even effortful. But over time, something subtle begins to shift. These attitudes stop feeling like things we’re trying to do and instead become qualities that rise naturally from within us—the fruits of a compassionate way of being.

In this way, the attitudes serve a dual purpose:

  • They guide us—helping us develop inner resilience, tenderness, and wisdom.

  • They reflect our growth—emerging effortlessly as signs of a compassionate heart in motion.

Just as mindfulness deepens through its attitudes, compassion matures through these qualities, revealing both the Yin (soft, receptive, nurturing) and the Yang (strong, protective, active) expressions of the compassionate life. True compassion is not one or the other—it is the dance between both.

To live compassionately is to learn how to hold both energies in balance: the softness that allows us to feel, and the strength that empowers us to act.

1. Courage – Yang

Recognising suffering takes bravery. Turning towards rather than away is the first step of compassion. Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the willingness to stay present with vulnerability, both in ourselves and others. It’s often the beginning of the compassionate journey.

2. Kindness – Yin

Kindness is the heartbeat of compassion, though it is often underestimated in its power. Soft, quiet, and nourishing, kindness allows us to meet pain with warmth rather than harshness. It is a gesture of care, whether expressed outwardly to others or inwardly towards ourselves.

3. Connection – Yin

Compassion awakens when we feel connected—to our inner experience and to the shared humanity of others. Through authentic connection and compassionate listening, we create safe spaces where suffering can be witnessed rather than hidden. Connection reminds us: we are not alone in this.

4. Wisdom – Yin & Yang

Wisdom helps us discern compassionate action from reaction. It invites reflection, self-honesty, and awareness. As Paul Gilbert reminds us, “Compassion without wisdom may be misguided, and courage without wisdom can become reckless.” Wisdom helps us act with clarity and integrity.

5. Assertiveness – Yang

Compassion is not passive. Assertiveness is its fierce expression—the willingness to set boundaries, speak truth, and honour our own needs without aggression. Assertive compassion says, “I matter too. I am worthy of care.” It protects what is sacred within us.

6. Tolerance – Yin

Tolerance is the spaciousness to hold discomfort, difference and uncertainty without immediate judgment or rejection. It is more than endurance—it is an active willingness to stay open-hearted, allowing growth and greater understanding to emerge.

7. Action – Yang

Compassion calls us not only to feel but to respond. Action is compassion in motion—a step, however small, towards easing suffering. Yet compassionate action is thoughtful, guided by kindness and wisdom rather than urgency or guilt.

8. Forgiveness – Yin

Forgiveness softens the grip of resentment and self-criticism. It does not deny harm but creates space for healing. Through forgiveness, we release the armour of blame and open the door to freedom, both for ourselves and others.

9. Love – Yin & Yang

Love lives at the centre of compassion. It is both gentle and strong, tender and courageous. To love compassionately is to recognise the worth and dignity of all beings, including ourselves. Love invites us to hold suffering not with pity, but with reverence and care.

10. Gratitude – Yin

Gratitude is the art of noticing. Even amidst pain, it invites us to acknowledge what is still nourishing, beautiful, or steady. Gratitude rewires us towards balance, reminding us that alongside struggle, there is still grace.

Become a Teacher of Compassion Focused Wellbeing

For mindfulness teachers looking to integrate compassion more formally into their work, the Compassion Focused Wellbeing (CFW) teacher training programme is an excellent next step.

Created by Nick Cooke and Madeleine Agnew, this UK-based accredited course combines the latest insights from Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC), and the Mindfulness Now programme (which blends MBSR and MBCT). It’s trauma-informed, research-based, and incredibly practical.

Graduates become part of a growing community of licensed and accredited CFW teachers, equipped to deliver compassion-focused courses, retreats, and one-to-one sessions.

Find out more

Living the Attitudes

These attitudes are not fixed traits but living practices—qualities that grow with time, intention and self-reflection. Some days, compassion asks us to soften. Other days, it asks us to rise. To walk the compassionate path is to continually dance between Yin and Yang—between gentle acceptance and empowered action.

Ready to Learn More?

Explore the Compassion Focused Wellbeing Teacher Training with the UK College of Mindfulness Meditation and take your mindfulness teaching to the next level.

Useful Links & References

  • CFW Compassion Focused Wellbeing https://mindfulnessnow.org.uk/compassion-focused-wellbeing/

  • Paul Gilbert – The Compassionate Mind

  • Dr. Kristin Neff – Fierce Self-Compassion

  • www.compassionatemind.co.uk

  • www.chrisgermer.com

  • www.centerformsc.org (Mindful Self-Compassion resources)

  • TED Talk: The Power of Vulnerability – Brené Brown

  • Neff, K. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward One

Statement of Solidarity with the Trans Community

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In Solidarity with Our Trans and Gender-Diverse Community

You are seen. You are valued. You are welcome.

Mindfulness Now understands the severity of what trans people are experiencing at this time, and we want to be absolutely clear: you are welcome here.

We are in full solidarity with our trans and gender-diverse community – we see you, we hear you, and we are standing with you. This isn’t just a statement—it’s a commitment.

We are actively working to ensure that all aspects of our programmes reflect our intrinsic mindful values of compassion, loving-kindness, inclusivity, and common humanity.

This commitment includes:

  • Continually updating and developing inclusive policies

  • Creating meaningful training for our Mindfulness Now teachers around gender identity, trans experiences, and the use of inclusive language

  • Ensuring a safe, supportive, and affirming environment within our training and across the wider Mindfulness Now community of teachers and learners

We recognise that this work is never finished. We are committed to ongoing listening, learning, and action—to ensure our words are matched by our behaviours and systems

With love, compassion and human connection — we are with you.

In support of Trans, Non-Binary and Gender-Questioning Communities

The recent UK Supreme Court ruling defining women by biological sex under equalities law has understandably led to deep anxiety and concern among trans, non-binary and gender-questioning (TNBGQ) individuals.

At Mindfulness Now, we stand in unwavering solidarity with TNBGQ communities. We are a training college committed to inclusion, safety, compassion and respect for all identities — not only during this challenging time, but always.

Our Commitment to Inclusivity

Mindfulness Now is a trauma-informed training provider offering mindfulness-based therapeutic training and support. Our ethos is grounded in kindness, equity, and care for all people.

We aim to be a space where TNBGQ students, graduates, teachers, and clients feel seen, safe and fully respected.

We commit to:

  • Championing the dignity, diversity and lived experience of TNBGQ people

  • Continuously improving our teaching, guidance and support with inclusivity at the core

  • Removing barriers to access and participation across all aspects of our training and community

  • Listening, learning, and reflecting with humility and compassion

Every person’s experience of gender is valid and deserves full respect. We honour the individuality and identity of each person in our courses, trainings and community.

Understanding the Supreme Court Ruling

The UK Supreme Court ruled that under the Equality Act 2010, the legal definition of a woman refers to biological sex. This means trans women with Gender Recognition Certificates may be excluded from some women-only spaces or services.

However, trans and non-binary individuals remain protected under equality law from discrimination, harassment, and victimisation.

We understand that this ruling may raise questions and distress for many in our community, including mindfulness students, graduates, trainers, and clients.

How We’re Responding

We are currently exploring the implications of this ruling for our training, teaching practice and professional guidance. We are:

  • Consulting with legal experts, inclusion advocates, and those with lived experience

  • Reviewing our training content, policies and materials to ensure clarity, compassion and inclusivity

  • Creating safe channels for discussion, feedback and lived experience to be heard

We acknowledge that our community includes a rich diversity of views, backgrounds and life stories. We believe that mindfulness must be a space where people are not only welcome — but safe.

What Mindfulness Means Here

Mindfulness is not neutral. It must be rooted in ethics, care and courage. It must stand up for those who are marginalised or harmed.

That means:

  • Adopting a trauma-aware and participant-led approach

  • Holding space with sensitivity, humility and care

  • Ensuring personal beliefs do not override inclusive, ethical practice

  • Speaking out against all forms of discrimination and harm, including transphobia, racism, ableism, ageism, homophobia, sexism, Islamophobia and antisemitism

We welcome your comments

We know we can always do better—and we want to. If you have thoughts, ideas, or feedback about how we can improve our teacher training, create safer spaces, or help people feel more seen and included, please get in touch.

Contact Us

Resources and Support

We will always be here to support members of the Mindfulness Now community and you are always welcome to reach out to us.

 

Your Voice Matters

We welcome feedback, reflections and ideas on how we can better serve the TNBGQ community through our trainings, teacher development, and public offerings.

Contact us: info@mindfulnessnow.org.uk
Website: mindfulnessnow.org.uk

Together, we can cultivate mindfulness spaces rooted in awareness, kindness and justice. This is not just good practice — it is essential.