October 2025 - MindfulnessNow

The 10 Attitudes of Compassion

Balancing the Yin and Yang of Compassionate Practice

The Attitudes of Compassion were developed by Madeleine Agnew and Nick Cooke as a core teaching element within the CFW (Compassion Focused Wellbeing) Programme. Designed to support participants in exploring the deeper foundations of compassionate living, these attitudes act as guiding principles—helping us both cultivate compassion and recognise it as a natural capacity already present within us.

Just as mindfulness has its attitudes, compassion too has its inner qualities—some gentle and soothing (Yin), others protective and powerful (Yang). To live compassionately is to learn how to hold both energies in balance: the softness that allows us to feel, and the strength that empowers us to act.

Like planting seeds in fertile soil, we begin by consciously nurturing these attitudes—practising kindness, building courage, learning to connect, and so on. At first, they may feel intentional, deliberate, even effortful. But over time, something subtle begins to shift. These attitudes stop feeling like things we’re trying to do and instead become qualities that rise naturally from within us—the fruits of a compassionate way of being.

In this way, the attitudes serve a dual purpose:

They guide us—helping us develop inner resilience, tenderness, and wisdom.
They reflect our growth—emerging effortlessly as signs of a compassionate heart in motion.

Just as mindfulness deepens through its attitudes, compassion matures through these qualities, revealing both the Yin (soft, receptive, nurturing) and the Yang (strong, protective, active) expressions of the compassionate life. True compassion is not one or the other—it is the dance between both.

To live compassionately is to learn how to hold both energies in balance: the softness that allows us to feel, and the strength that empowers us to act.

1. Courage – Yang

Recognising suffering takes bravery. Turning towards rather than away is the first step of compassion. Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the willingness to stay present with vulnerability, both in ourselves and others. It’s often the beginning of the compassionate journey.

2. Kindness – Yin

Kindness is the heartbeat of compassion, though it is often underestimated in its power. Soft, quiet, and nourishing, kindness allows us to meet pain with warmth rather than harshness. It is a gesture of care, whether expressed outwardly to others or inwardly towards ourselves.

3. Connection – Yin

Compassion awakens when we feel connected—to our inner experience and to the shared humanity of others. Through authentic connection and compassionate listening, we create safe spaces where suffering can be witnessed rather than hidden. Connection reminds us: we are not alone in this.

4. Wisdom – Yin & Yang

Wisdom helps us discern compassionate action from reaction. It invites reflection, self-honesty, and awareness. As Paul Gilbert reminds us, “Compassion without wisdom may be misguided, and courage without wisdom can become reckless.” Wisdom helps us act with clarity and integrity.

5. Assertiveness – Yang

Compassion is not passive. Assertiveness is its fierce expression—the willingness to set boundaries, speak truth, and honour our own needs without aggression. Assertive compassion says, “I matter too. I am worthy of care.” It protects what is sacred within us.

6. Tolerance – Yin

Tolerance is the spaciousness to hold discomfort, difference and uncertainty without immediate judgment or rejection. It is more than endurance—it is an active willingness to stay open-hearted, allowing growth and greater understanding to emerge.

7. Action – Yang

Compassion calls us not only to feel but to respond. Action is compassion in motion—a step, however small, towards easing suffering. Yet compassionate action is thoughtful, guided by kindness and wisdom rather than urgency or guilt.

8. Forgiveness – Yin

Forgiveness softens the grip of resentment and self-criticism. It does not deny harm but creates space for healing. Through forgiveness, we release the armour of blame and open the door to freedom, both for ourselves and others.

9. Love – Yin & Yang

Love lives at the centre of compassion. It is both gentle and strong, tender and courageous. To love compassionately is to recognise the worth and dignity of all beings, including ourselves. Love invites us to hold suffering not with pity, but with reverence and care.

10. Gratitude – Yin

Gratitude is the art of noticing. Even amidst pain, it invites us to acknowledge what is still nourishing, beautiful, or steady. Gratitude rewires us towards balance, reminding us that alongside struggle, there is still grace.

Become a Teacher of Compassion Focused Wellbeing

For mindfulness teachers looking to integrate compassion more formally into their work, the Compassion Focused Wellbeing (CFW) teacher training programme is an excellent next step.

Created by Nick Cooke and Madeleine Agnew, this UK-based accredited course combines the latest insights from Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC), and the Mindfulness Now programme (which blends MBSR and MBCT). It’s trauma-informed, research-based, and incredibly practical.

Graduates become part of a growing community of licensed and accredited CFW teachers, equipped to deliver compassion-focused courses, retreats, and one-to-one sessions.

Living the Attitudes

These attitudes are not fixed traits but living practices—qualities that grow with time, intention and self-reflection. Some days, compassion asks us to soften. Other days, it asks us to rise. To walk the compassionate path is to continually dance between Yin and Yang—between gentle acceptance and empowered action.

Ready to Learn More?

Explore the Compassion Focused Wellbeing Teacher Training with the UK College of Mindfulness Meditation and take your mindfulness teaching to the next level.

Useful Links & References

CFW Compassion Focused Wellbeing https://mindfulnessnow.org.uk/compassion-focused-wellbeing/
Paul Gilbert – The Compassionate Mind
Dr. Kristin Neff – Fierce Self-Compassion
www.compassionatemind.co.uk
www.chrisgermer.com
www.centerformsc.org (Mindful Self-Compassion resources)
TED Talk: The Power of Vulnerability – Brené Brown
Neff, K. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward One

From Safe Space to Brave Space

A Mindfulness Teacher’s Call to Compassionate Courage

Within mindfulness and compassion teaching, much emphasis is placed on creating safe space—a container of presence where participants are invited to arrive as they are. Yet the world in which we teach is not always safe. It is marked by grief, injustice, and collective trauma that enter the room with every participant. In such a climate, the invitation is not only to create safety, but to evolve that safety into brave space—a space where truth, vulnerability, and justice-centered compassion are welcomed and held with care. There is a deeper invitation available to us: to nurture such a profound inner safety that it becomes the foundation from which we step into the world with courage, truth, and compassionate action. Safe space, when embodied, naturally evolves into brave space.

The First Safe Space Is the One Within

Humans are hard-wired for safety. Before we can be brave, we must feel rooted enough to withstand discomfort, complexity, and difference.

Cultivating that inner refuge begins not with perfection, but with curiosity. With knowledge. With a willingness to see ourselves clearly.

A Short Guided Practice: From Safe to Brave

1. Find your posture—sitting, standing, or lying down. Place your hands softly where they feel at ease.

2. Notice. Breath, sensations, subtle shifts. No need to fix anything—just witness.

3. Inhale slowly through the nose. Fill to the top. Pause. Feel your strength.
Exhale gently through the mouth, drawing the belly inward. Pause. Begin again.

4. Return to a natural rhythm. Notice the transition between breaths. Let your body be a safe place.

5. On the next breath, bring your palms together at your heart. Imagine holding something fragile and sacred. Feel tenderness.

6. Open the palms toward your chest like a mirror. Let your hands reflect the truth and compassion living in your heart right now.

7. Gently close the palms again, holding your intention. Soften your body.

8. Open your eyes or let them brighten if already open. Inhale into the safe space you have created. Feel its presence inside you.

9. Let your hands lift above your head, then circle outward and back toward your heart—expanding your field of safety into a wider brave space.

Here, in this breath, bravery lives.

Teaching in Times of Collective Pain

Moments of societal crisis—especially those involving racialised violence and systemic injustice—bring heightened emotional charge into the learning space. Participants may arrive with grief, outrage, numbness, fear, or weariness. Teachers, too, carry their own responses. Rather than suppressing or bypassing these realities, mindful facilitation invites grounded acknowledgement.

This approach aligns with the spirit of “Brave Space” articulated by community facilitator Micky ScottBey Jones, whose poem An Invitation to Brave Space emphasises that while no space can be entirely safe, it can be held with courage, love, and collective responsibility. The poem encourages practitioners to stand together in the imperfect work of healing, rather than seeking protection through silence. (Link included in the resource section below.)

Naming Suffering Without Causing Harm

Injustice and systemic oppression cannot be addressed through silence. For many mindfulness teachers, especially those navigating racial dynamics or confronting their own social conditioning, there can be a hesitancy to speak. However, unacknowledged suffering often deepens harm.

A justice-informed teaching approach encourages:

Awareness before intervention — Teachers first attune to their internal responses to suffering and injustice.
Acknowledgment over avoidance — Naming the presence of pain in the room without centering personal discomfort.
Enquiry over certainty — Asking with humility rather than teaching from authority.
Compassionate witnessing — Allowing participants’ experiences to be held with respect and without defensiveness.

A brave space does not demand disclosure or emotional labor from marginalised participants. Instead, it creates conditions where what needs to be spoken can be spoken, and where silence can also be honored as a form of self-protection and agency.

Embodied Practice: Moving From Safe to Brave

Mindfulness teachers can support this transition through practices that ground participants in the body before engaging in dialogue. Simple forms of breath awareness, compassionate hand placement at the heart, or visualising safety within the body can establish enough internal stability to approach difficult truths with less reactivity.

Embodying safety allows teachers and participants alike to approach conversations about injustice not as intellectual debates but as felt experiences—rooted in humanity, dignity, and shared presence.

Toward a Compassionate Pedagogy of Justice

The work of building brave spaces in mindfulness teaching is not about perfection. It is about presence, responsibility, and an unwavering commitment to hold suffering with compassion while refusing to turn away from the systems that create it.

A justice-centered mindfulness pedagogy recognizes that:

Inner refuge supports outer courage.
Self-compassion fuels resilience for sustained engagement.
Naming suffering is a necessary step toward collective healing.
Brave space is co-created through humility, listening, and care.

As teachers, the invitation is to continue cultivating our own safe inner spaces while extending that safety outward in the form of courageous, compassionate action. In this way, mindfulness is not withdrawn from the world, but is deeply responsive to it.

Resources for Further Study and Teaching

▶ An Invitation to Brave Space — Micky ScottBey Jones
https://onbeing.org/poetry/an-invitation-to-brave-space/
A grounding poem widely used in justice-centered facilitation. Useful to open or close mindfulness sessions dealing with vulnerability and collective suffering.

▶ The Inner Work of Racial Justice — Rhonda V. Magee
https://www.rhondavmagee.com/
Explores how mindfulness and compassion practices can support racial awareness, healing, and social transformation. A key text for mindfulness teachers engaging with justice work.

▶ White Awake – Educational Resources on Race and Mindfulness
https://whiteawake.org/
Offers mindfulness-based workshops and resources specifically for those racialized as white to understand conditioning, privilege, and how to hold space responsibly.

▶ Anguish and Action – Obama Foundation
https://www.obama.org/anguish-and-action/
Provides educational resources and calls to action related to racial justice, designed to support those seeking to move from awareness into meaningful engagement.

▶ How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Talking About Race — TEDx Talk
(Search: title + TEDx)
A talk encouraging self-compassion and courage when engaging in conversations on race—helpful for teachers navigating fear of saying the wrong thing.

▶ Trauma-Informed Mindfulness Toolkit — Center for Trauma & Embodiment
https://www.traumasensitiveyoga.com/resources
A collection of resources on creating safer facilitation environments, integrating somatic awareness, and avoiding re-traumatization in mindfulness spaces.

▶ Rhonda Magee on Mindfulness and Race — On Being Interview
https://onbeing.org/programs/rhonda-magee-mindfulness-and-racial-healing/
A deeply reflective conversation on how inner practice meets systemic suffering, suitable for teacher inquiry and reflection.

▶ Black Liturgies — Cole Arthur Riley
https://www.instagram.com/blackliturgist/
A contemplative practice archive rooted in Black liberation theology and embodied spiritual care. Offers language for holding sorrow and resistance in sacred space.

▶ Mindfulness in Movement Spaces — BIPOC-Centered Facilitation Tools
(Search community-based organizations like The Nap Ministry, Healing Justice Lineages)
Provides examples of how rest, embodied presence, and mindfulness are being reclaimed in activist and BIPOC-led healing traditions.

The 10 Attitudes of Compassion – Embracing the Yin and Yang of Compassionate Practice